When High-Achieving Moms Receive Support

Mar 08, 2024

By: Dr. Amber Gunner

Happy International Women's Day! I’m incredibly grateful for all the women who’ve paved the way for us.

Many of the moms that I work with are high achievers, juggling various responsibilities in their careers while also maintaining their families and personal happiness. One powerful aspect I've witnessed is the profound impact that support can have on their lives. Let's dive into the story of one remarkable client who experienced anxiety related to her career and, through coaching and support, saw a remarkable transformation.

Pictured: ENS Shanell Moore, Nurse Corp, USN and Mom of 3.

Client Testimonial: A Journey from Anxiety to Empowerment

"When I first sought out coaching as a mom of three, I was wrestling with anxiety about my career, an experience completely new to me. The tools and strategies we developed together, uniquely tailored to my needs, have proven invaluable. Starting with an anxiety level at 10, our collaborative work has significantly reduced it to a mere 2. I wasn't fully aware of what my anxiety looked like for me, and I didn't recognize it as such.

Beyond the realm of my motherhood and career, this coaching journey has led to numerous breakthroughs, helping me navigate internal stressors and providing effective strategies for managing them. It's been a transformative experience that went beyond my initial expectations. Dr. Gunner skillfully guided me through my own thoughts and the entire process. Rather than being told what to do, she guided me, and it has opened up a path I never knew was possible."

Why is it difficult to ask for support?

I’ve asked this question to myself many times. I’ve also asked many moms about their experience. Some may say, I don’t like asking for help. Some may say, if I asked once and they said no, I just don’t ask again. And I completely understand the fears and frustrations of asking for help. I think its also important to note that because we live in a society that is more individualistic, there’s a belief that everyone should be able to do it all on their own. The reality, especially for moms, is that we need support and help. Oftentimes, black and brown women are seen for their strength, and it can be assumed that we don’t also need support. Here are three things to think about as you begin dissecting your thoughts on asking for help.

Take a moment to explore your beliefs about seeking help, recognizing that these ideas may stem from societal norms and the influences of your upbringing. Understanding these connections can provide insight into your perspective on asking for assistance.
Asking for support often requires vulnerability, admitting that you don't have everything under control. High-achieving moms, especially in a society that values self-reliance, may hesitate to show vulnerability, fearing it could tarnish their image or lead to judgments about their capability.
Cultural and gender norms can play a substantial role in the reluctance to seek help. Societal expectations often place the responsibility of caretaking and multitasking on women, particularly mothers. These cultural expectations may create a sense of guilt or inadequacy when considering asking for assistance, as it may feel like deviating from prescribed gender roles or cultural norms.

How Receiving Support Impacts Our Wellbeing

One thing we know for sure is that receiving help benefits our wellbeing. As mothers, when we receive support it allows to devote time back into taking care of ourselves, which literally increases our life span. But how does receiving help, and taking care of ourselves improve our wellbeing?

Reduced Stress and Anxiety:

High-achieving women often bear a significant load of responsibilities, leading to increased stress and anxiety. By accepting support, you can share the burden and distribute tasks, making daily challenges more manageable. This, in turn, lowers stress levels and contributes to a calmer, more centered mindset.

Enhanced Emotional Well-being:

Emotional well-being is a crucial aspect of a fulfilling life. When you receive support, you create a network of individuals who understand and care about your emotional needs. This can lead to a sense of security, belonging, and emotional balance, contributing to overall happiness and contentment.

Improved Work-Life Balance:

Balancing a successful career, family, and personal well-being can be a formidable task. Seeking support allows you to delegate tasks, freeing up time for self-care and quality moments with loved ones. Achieving a healthier work-life balance is key to sustained happiness and fulfillment.

Increased Productivity and Efficiency:

Support doesn't just alleviate stress; it can also enhance your productivity. Delegating tasks to those who are well-equipped to handle them allows you to focus on what you do best. This specialization can lead to increased efficiency and effectiveness in both your professional and personal life.

Boosted Self-Esteem and Confidence:

Knowing when and how to ask for help is a sign of self-awareness and strength, not weakness. Embracing support can boost your self-esteem, as it signifies a willingness to prioritize your well-being over the unrealistic expectation of doing it all alone. This newfound confidence can positively impact various aspects of your life.

Strengthened Relationships:

The act of seeking and receiving support fosters deeper connections with your support system. Whether it's family, friends, or professional mentors, relying on others creates bonds built on trust and mutual care. These relationships contribute significantly to your emotional and social well-being.

Personal Growth and Development:

Accepting support often involves learning from others and being open to different perspectives. This continuous exchange of knowledge and experiences fosters personal growth and development. Embracing support can be a catalyst for positive change in your life, both personally and professionally.

We've looked at how receiving help impacts our wellbeing, now let's take a look at the steps in asking for support.

Steps to Ask For Support

In my parenting workshops and one-on-one clients, we talk about the 7 steps in asking for support.

Acknowledge: Recognize that you need support, whether it's acknowledging that you can't do it all alone or simply realizing that you don't wish to. Having this clarity is crucial for taking the first step towards seeking help.
Identify: Clearly define your needs. If you're unsure, start by identifying your stressors. Recognize who is part of your support system and assess if your needs align with their strengths.
Challenge: Question and reassess your beliefs about receiving support. This may involve reflecting on your upbringing, understanding any ingrained perspectives that may hinder your willingness to seek assistance.
Communicate Clearly: Articulate your needs and express them clearly to your support system. Effective communication is key to ensuring that others understand how they can assist you.
Celebrate Your Successes: Acknowledge and celebrate every success, whether big or small, in asking for help. Each victory serves as a reminder for future instances and allows you to express gratitude to your support system for their assistance.
Practice Receiving Help: Cultivate adaptability. When receiving support, remain flexible and open-minded. Recognize that your support system may approach things differently, and that's perfectly acceptable. Embracing adaptability is essential for a harmonious exchange of support.
Adaptability: Prioritize flexibility and openness when receiving support. Acknowledge that your support system may have different approaches, and be receptive to diverse perspectives. Embracing adaptability enhances the effectiveness and fulfillment of collaboration with those offering assistance.

The CDC emphasizes the importance of cultivating a support network, recommending the involvement of more than one person for emotional support during challenging times or for practical assistance, such as last-minute childcare needs. This multifaceted support approach contributes to heightened social connectedness, fostering a profound sense of belonging, care, value, and support in one's life. For more insights on the impact of social connectedness on health, you can explore the CDC's findings here.

In step 4, we delve into celebrating your successes. Moving forward, the next section explores what comes after receiving support and achieving milestones in your journey.

I’m Receiving, Now What?

Embarking on a journey of self-discovery and personal growth involves not only acknowledging your achievements but also taking a moment to celebrate each success, no matter the size, in an article written by: Unveiled Way's purpose-driven woman guide.

In this exploration, we delve into the significance of celebrating wins and the transformative power it holds.

Validation of Progress:

Celebrating your wins serves as a tangible acknowledgment of the progress you've made. It validates the efforts you've invested in seeking support, implementing positive changes, and overcoming challenges. This validation reinforces your commitment to personal growth and resilience.

Boost to Self-Esteem:

Recognizing and celebrating your achievements, no matter how small, contributes to a positive self-image. It boosts your self-esteem and reinforces the belief that you are capable of overcoming obstacles. As a high-achieving woman, acknowledging your successes allows you to appreciate your strengths and capabilities.

Motivation for Continued Effort:

Celebrating wins creates a positive feedback loop that fuels motivation. When you acknowledge the positive outcomes of your efforts, you're more likely to stay committed to the process of receiving support. This motivation becomes a driving force for continued growth and development.

Cultivation of Gratitude:

Expressing gratitude for the support you've received and the progress you've made fosters a mindset of appreciation. Gratitude is a powerful emotion that not only enhances your well-being but also strengthens your connections with those who have supported you along the way.

Building Resilience:

The journey of receiving support is not always linear, and setbacks may occur. Celebrating your wins acts as a buffer against challenges, building resilience in the face of adversity. Reflecting on your successes reinforces your ability to navigate difficulties and come out stronger on the other side.

Inspiration for Others:

Your journey of receiving support and celebrating your wins becomes an inspiration for others. By sharing your successes, you contribute to a culture that encourages seeking help and embracing support, empowering those around you to embark on their own transformative journeys.

In celebrating Women's History Month, we honor the resilience and achievements of the women who have paved the way for us. As high-achieving moms navigating the intricate balance of career, family, and personal fulfillment, the journey of receiving support emerges as a transformative force. Through the powerful testimony of a remarkable client who triumphed over career-related anxiety, we've seen the profound impact of coaching and support on one's life. Recognizing the difficulties in asking for help, particularly rooted in societal expectations and individual beliefs, becomes a crucial step in embracing the transformative potential of support. From reduced stress and enhanced emotional well-being to improved work-life balance, increased productivity, and personal growth, the positive impacts of receiving support are manifold. Now, as we explore the steps in asking for support and celebrate the wins along the way, let this be a reminder that seeking help is a courageous step towards a more fulfilling and balanced life.

Ready For Support?

It's time to prioritize your well-being, celebrate your wins, and embark on a journey of transformation. Take the first step by acknowledging your needs and challenging any beliefs that hinder seeking help. Join me in breaking free from the societal expectations and cultural norms that may hold us back. Whether through coaching, workshops, or building a support network, let's create a community that uplifts and empowers moms. Visit www.ambergunner.com to discover more about the transformative potential of receiving support and start your journey towards a more balanced and fulfilling life. Together, we can rewrite the narrative and redefine what it means to be a high-achieving mom who thrives.

Dr. Amber Gunner, a Balance Strategist and Workforce Engagement Consultant, is a leading practitioner and advocate for empowering working moms to achieve work-life balance and succeed in both their personal and professional lives. With a deep understanding of the challenges faced by working moms, Dr. Gunner is dedicated to providing the tools, resources, and support needed to help them avoid parental burnout and thrive without sacrificing their well-being.